My year in Germany is over. I've been home for about a week now. And I'm still not sure what to think. I've called my home in Germany "home" for quite some time now, and it doesn't feel right to just automatically call my home in New Jersey "home" again. That's adjustments that will take a little bit longer, but it's coming slowly but surely. It's weird to think I was saying good-bye to my German family a week ago. And two days later, I was greeted by my parents.
English was not too difficult for me to speak again. Some words came to my mind in German before the English equivalent came to me. Some phrases or prepositions I say are wrong because I'm thinking in the terms of German. I find it funny to have to ask for someone to correct me in my native language. But overall, I don't feel like my English has gotten horrible since everyone can still understand me. It's been harder re-adjusting to how Americans look and react at certain things. Some things I've temporarily forgotten. (The toilets (too much water) and clothing styles are most striking to me.)
Seeing my friends and family again didn't prompt or provoke extreme joy or excitement. My coming home parties (one of which was a surprise) felt sorta like I picked up where I was a year ago, like nothing special had happened. Everyone was/is genuinely excited to see me; that is the people that have showed they DO care about me. But it feels like Germany has now become a distant memory. Perhaps because of geographical locations, since Germany is about 4,000 miles (6,000 km) away. But this numb feeling has really deprived me of a very clear feeling towards being home. I'm not overally estatic to be on American soil, but I'm not depressed that I'm not in Germany anymore. After speaking with Barbara, perhaps she had explained it correctly.."it feels like just getting back from vacation, and you have to get used to the 'normality at home'". I can relate this huge transition to something very similar.
There is so much that has affected me this year, and I have a lot of stories and life lessons that I'd love to share, but how to I start to share...? Do I start from the beginning or just share simple anecdotes? It's pretty much impossible to share everything, so what should I choose? I feel like I'm still sorting a lot in my head. I just got back from Germany...Where did the 10 months go? How do I keep contact with those in Germany? How do I re-contact with my friends and family at home? What do I need to do for college in 6 weeks? Got to prepare for my upcoming swim season. etc.
Life is definitely continuing...I feel like time has gone on ticking, and I'm still in the moment. But how did I get back from Germany to the USA so quickly? That's boggling my mind. Germany, the Congress-Bundestag Youth Exchange, was the experience of a lifetime. I was blessed with the best family for me. I had a great school, town, and community. I miss that a lot but have realized I'm just as lucky to have that all in NJ too. I took advantage of every opportunity I had and did all that I possibly could during my time abroad. I don't even know if I can list all that I've learned, grown from, and acquired. This exchange year has made me grow as a person...for the better. (Reminds me of the song "For Good" from Wicked.) I will definitely go back to Germany. But with such an experience of a lifetime...I can only look back and be happy. Not every moment was wonderful, but these moments led to better ones and vice versa. Each moment helped me: with my German, to understand something new, to communicate better, to tolerate more, to agree to disagree, to have fun, to smile, to laugh, to cry, to think and reflect. This list could go on for much, much longer. Human beings always continue to evolve, and I know this chapter has closed, but college is right around the bend. This is just another step in growing-up. But this time, I have to study a lot more.
I hope to do more with other exchange students. I would strongly encourage an extended time abroad. I think it's a great experience to host an exchange student. And even the simplest thing: Try to be a friend to an exchange student or someone new to the area. It will make them feel a lot better and more comfortable in a surrounding they don't know. And being a helping hand, helps more than you think. I'd like to thank all those helping hands and compassionate souls that guided and helped me. It all really worked out in the end! :-)
This is my 100th and concluding post. Thank you for reading and allowing me to share my experiences.
Mit freundlichen Grüßen,
Matt
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